The beginnings are always nice, aren’t they?

After a nice summer spent together and meeting his friends, having fun, getting to know each other, she needs to go back to her home country and continue her studies. Maybe it was just a summer love.

Both continued with their lives, separated, like nothing ever happened and with no contact. Different countries, different ways of living, different plans, and expectations, everything different. Who knows if they will ever meet again?

A year later she finished her studies, and she decided to move abroad to be with

her family. Just a few days before her flight, he contacted her and offered to

come and pick her up from the airport. She accepted. She thought that was kind of him, just two people that somewhere, in the past, shared some nice moments. On the way from the airport, they stopped for a short break, and, when they were heading back to the car, he stopped her, they looked into each other’s eyes and kissed.

Since that moment they stayed together and started a happy relationship. Was that real happiness?

Lots of beautiful memories. But wait . . . 

Time passes by and being in love does not last forever and loving someone is just

not enough sometimes. She was happy or at least she thought so.

This was her normality; she could not compare it with other relationships because she never had one. She was so young and inexperienced, and so naive. 

For her it was normal to have a heavy routine and to concentrate mostly on work, on their business, to have time for her friends only during weekends, and this when she was not exhausted mentally and physically due to all the stress at work.

She found it normal to put some distance between her and her family because they would try to advise her to be careful with everything that was happening, and that it will not end well when he will continue to go out so often without her. They just wanted her to be happy. It was normal for her to be the one in charge of everything at home, not to have enough time for them as a couple because work was absorbing all her energy and time. Mentally she was not ok. Physically, maybe neither.

She should have ended it all when she started to notice that they will not go out together anymore. This should have raised her a question mark. But she wanted to give him the freedom and let him enjoy with his friends. Everyone needs some time by themselves and have fun with their friends. But he would always go out only with them and all of them were single. He would never invite her to go with. She would stay at home.

She should have ended it all when she started to notice that he was always hiding his phone whenever he was receiving a message. She should have had the courage to ask him what was happening.

She did not want to be distrustful and to believe him when he said that everything was fine. She was thinking that she was being paranoid because of all the stress at work and all the unpaid bills.

She should have ended it all when she started to see photos from parties on social media where he was with other girls, holding them close. She should have known that was not the right thing. She did not want to confront him; she just was not ready to hear the truth. Maybe it was that. She wanted to believe he is a grownup man, old enough to know what he was doing and that he was being responsible. She wanted to be a positive girl (she was still a girl) and think he will not go beyond the limits. She knew that she would never be capable of doing this to him, have something with another person while being in a relationship, so she naively thought he was neither.

She should have ended it all when her friends and family started to advise her more often that she should be careful because something wasn’t right. They were extremely worried. She should have gathered enough courage to talk to him and confront him with all the things she was observing in his behavior and acts. She did not want to accept that they might be right and once spoken out loud, all the fears and nightmares might become true.

She should have ended it all when he stopped making her compliments. She should have imagined there is no love anymore and it was true; there was no love anymore. She had lost her self-love and started to blame her for everything was happening. 

At that moment, she should have taken a decision, even though it was extremely hard to accept she was wrong all this time. She had accepted so many things, she had kept quiet for so long. All this was not easy at all, so instead of blaming him, she started to believe that all of that was her fault.

She should have ended it all when she woke up one night and could not breathe properly due to all the stress, and he was not there with her.

She should have ended it all when she would call him to come home from the party and drive her to the hospital, and he would arrive one hour later. In that precise moment, she should have left to never, ever look behind.

She should have ended it all when he would arrive home and go directly to sleep without even checking on her while she was sleeping on the sofa. It was the drop that filled the cup.

That evening marked her forever, broke her heart. One memory she will never forget and will teach her a hard lesson. But all this she will realize and truly accept just a few years later.

At that moment, she still had a strong will and stubbornness of making their relationship work. She did not want to give up after so many years. To give up on him, on their relationship, on their home, their business, on her whole life she had built until that point. She invested so much. And her ego and pride were just over her self-love, over her healthy. It was extremely hard to accept that she was not happy anymore in that relationship, it was not healthy, she was offering too much and receiving too little. 

Until one day. One day she would find all the proofs, all the conversations, all the messages, all the photos, and will be able to see it with her own eyes. But, until she discovers all this and takes the hard decision to break up with him and put herself in the first place, some more time will need to pass, and this will be another story.

Do not be a coward and continue to be in a relationship that is not healthy for you!

I am here right now remembering all this and looking back I would not change a thing.

You wonder why, of course! All these experiences made me be the person I am today. And I am incredibly happy with the way I am now. I learned a lot

and I try not to make the same mistakes twice.

At that moment I thought it was the right thing to do. After I left all behind I

need it several years to start loving and accepting myself the way I am. I am still

in the process. I think the process of self-love should never end.

I realized that being in a relationship (a happy and healthy one) is a present that life offers, an extra amount of happiness in your life but is not a necessity. You are responsible for your happiness.

I am sharing this story with you. I need it to look deep inside to search for the right words to describe my version without hurting anyone and still having respect towards the other person. 

Do you identify yourself with any of the situations described here? What is your story?

Version in spanish: https://journeywithmada.com/historia-nr-2/

Version in romanian: https://journeywithmada.com/povestea-nr-2/