She moves to Spain

This is just the beginning of a long journey! 😊

She finished her studies in her home country and specialized in Foreign Languages – Spanish and English. Like most of the teenagers, she was getting help from her family, but she did not want to ask for more money to continue her studies and go to university. So, she decided that instead, she will move abroad, find a job and go work. It did not matter in which area. She had no work experience yet. She would work in whatever it was she could find. She strongly desired to be independent. It was the only thing she could think of every day. The idea was to save enough money, so she could pay for her studies. And, this would have been a bit difficult in her home country due to the system and the life conditions.

This time, leaving the country would be an extremely different experience. Every year, for the summer holidays she would visit her family in Spain. She still remembers how it was the very first time when she traveled abroad, just by herself. This happened when she was only 17 years old. She had never left the country before. Not even her hometown. She had no one left there so, she would go for the next 3 months to Spain to be with her family and improve her Spanish. Her parents were separated, and she had no relationship with her father or any kind of contact. He would never agree to sign the papers for her to be able to travel alone. 

She just had the paper with the confirmation that she could have her own passport, and a copy of the divorce papers. That was all. Arriving at the borders, in a bus full of people, all strangers to her, the police checked all the documents. She would need to go out of the bus, go into a room full of police officers, all men, and be interrogated. The feeling she had when her own people, her compatriots, though she wanted to go abroad to practice prostitution. The malicious smile on their faces. She was just a child. How could they? She just wished at that moment to be with her family, and run out from that small room, where people (if you can call them human beings) were judging and laughing without even knowing her. But, when it is about money, everything changes. She would be brought in a smaller room, with just two police officers and one of them would open a notebook to hide the fact that she was putting money inside. 

They allowed her to go back to the bus then and leave the country.

At that precise moment, she decided she does not want to live, and she will not live in a country which is being run like this, with this sort of system, with this kind of people and mentalities.

She studied a lot to reach the same level of knowledge as her colleagues. She was missing four years of taking classes and now, that she managed to be fluent in Spanish, she wanted to make good use of it. She will use it to distance herself from her homeland.

The work in the factory was hard, but not everything in life is pink. Being in a country, as a foreigner, you do not have so many options. At least now, she could now make her own decisions without giving explanations to anyone. She was independent.

She also realized and accepted that you must start from somewhere and depending on your rhythm and goals, you can always improve and change, but you need to gather experience and more knowledge first. 

One year after moving there, she managed to go to college to study tourism, and not what other people or the society thought was more convenient. She wanted to stay in that area of tourism, communications, languages, public relations, and have more opportunities, be more flexible and be able to work in different areas after finishing her studies.  

She succeeds, even though, it was expected from her to study maybe medicine or law, so once finished the college, to start earning money immediately. Such a misconception. She wanted to be free, to decide for herself, and follow her dreams, make her own mistakes.

That was also the time when she could afford small whims, things that she normally would wish for as a child but could never afford. This like buying the clothes you want, going to the cinema, going on a vacation, go out and visit places.

People can be mean at school and depending on the way you dress, the things you possess, the clothing brands you wear, the places you go on holiday, the job your parents have you are being put a different drawer.

In a system where if you or your parents know or have connections with important people then you manage to achieve certain things and have a good job. One more reason to leave her home country. Nothing of this was a priority for her or a way of living her life.

That time in Spain was the beginning of a new life she started to build by herself, with her own resources and earnings. It was also the period where she started to build her personality.

I am here, remembering all of this and having the feeling of being naked in front of you. 

Right now, I feel that the most precious thing in life is built with the memories we have gathered throughout the years and the people we’ve met on our path, and not the material things. We just need to learn (and this I have realized that it comes with time) from what kind of people we want to be surrounded by.

Why I decided to pay for my studies? Because I consider that nothing in this life is for free. 

It does not matter who it is coming from or at which moment. But, in some specific moments of our life you will need to pay back. The ways of doing can be different: either with help, money, favors, or explanations. It all depends. But somehow, and somewhere, you will need to pay it back.

There is something that I really don’t like: to give explanations for my decisions, what I am doing or what I will do. If you manage on your own, you will never have to do that. And if you want to help someone, you are not conditioned by anything, you genuinely help that person.

You can learn have the courage to share your thoughts and stories with the people you meet. You shouldn’t keep or hold it for yourself because, people would enjoy knowing you better, to learn something from your past, decide if they want to be there in your present and perhaps, become part of your future, to like and to dislike, to criticize or to appreciate, to laugh together, to cry together. We need to offer the chance to be known for how we really are, with our fears and our challenges.

We are not made to live our lives alone. We could do it, of course! But it is more fun if we choose not to.

Why do you think I am sharing this with you? What’s your story?

Version in spanish: https://journeywithmada.com/historia-nr-1/

Version in romanian: https://journeywithmada.com/povestea-nr-1/