Different types of ex-partners

“She had amazing and less amazing experiences, she had met wonderful and less wonderful people. From every experience and every person, she met on her journey, she had learned something useful, many times it was something positive and sometimes she did things she knew she did not want to happen again. She began to select people who come into her life.

With the pass of time, in some moments, she has memories of her past, of the people that mattered to her and are now gone, of the feelings she had at some point in her life.

One type of ex-boyfriend is the one you have when you are in high school when you are maybe too young to  understand what real love is, where everything is a game, where everything is only fun, and you do not take things very seriously. It is that kind of love that is intense and with the same intensity, the flame fades away. He is the kind of person who did not leave any deep mark on you, who did not hurt you because maybe it wasn’t even loving. She was too young to understand.

Another type of ex-boyfriend is one that happens when you get a bit older and things get more and more serious over time. Maybe you’ve already introduced him to your parents, maybe you’re already sharing the same friends and maybe you’ve already decided to live together. He is that person who helped you develop in many ways, you grew up as a couple and you shared your whole being with him, you shared your fears and your happiness, you shared your dreams and your failures, you shared your smiles and your tears, he knew your qualities and your defects, he knew the whole you, in body and soul.

This person will leave a deep mark on you because at some point in your life you were one, you were going in the same direction, doing the same journey, and sharing the same path.

This person, even years after everything is over, still affects you only because, years before, he was the cause of many of your moments of happiness. However, you are aware though that what once separated into two different directions, after so many years, it is difficult, if not impossible, to bring that path back together. And the wound is too deep not to feel it every time you think of that person. And that wound scares you because you do not want it to open again, you do not want to suffer as before. But is that person that when you see on the street, you will go, give him a hug, and wish him well with no resentment.

Another type of ex-boyfriend is the one that you didn’t even think you would fall in love with, that you did not take it seriously because you were happy as you were and you were not searching for anything and anyone, you did not have the time and energy to invest in a relationship, but it just happened. You were living day by day, without any plans.

It is that person with whom you were not afraid to fall in love because you have already experienced how much a person can suffer for love. It is that person to whom you were not afraid to give all your trust because you had nothing to lose, you had confidence in yourself and you were aware that you cannot get hurt so quickly.

You cannot control love and the wounds it might leave on you. It is that person who abused your trust and, years later, when he realizes, and comes for you to explain everything, now you are the one who no longer cares.

When a person lies, for no reason, with every bad answer, with every wrong behavior, with every lie he killed every beautiful feeling you ever had for him and now is nothing left, there are no reactions on your side, there are no feelings, the flame has been completely faded. By his actions, he made you throw away all the respect you had for him. It is that person that when you meet on the street you will want to cross on the other side.

Another type of ex is one in which your relationship was based on mutual respect and true love towards each other. It is that person, with whom even years later you would like to have a relationship, one of friendship.

It is that person who never gave you the feeling that he is lying or is playing with you. It is that person you met when you both were ready to love and to offer the most beautiful to the other. It is that person that was always by your side to support you in your dreams, no matter how crazy it would have sounded to others.

It is that person that you once loved as your partner and now you love only as your friend, and this will never change, no matter if your path is not the same. It is that person that if you ever meet again, you will hug him with such warmth and so welcoming.

Another type of ex is that person with whom you did not really start a relationship, due to the circumstances. Maybe it wasn’t the right moment nor the right place. It is that person that always moved something inside, with each message that person sent, with each spoken word, with each attitude he had towards you. It is that person that you spent some of your nights thinking about, and you always had smiled remembering the time you spent together.

It is that person that even after time, when you restart a conversation that stopped a long time ago, the desire is there and that desires burn within you. They say that what you can not have, you desire more. Maybe it’s true.”

I am here right now, remembering and trying to kind of classify the experiences that I had. I think is a way of clarifying, for myself, what made me happy and what made me less happy, knowing which box to open when I feel sad and I need something to make me smile.

I think I am prepared for whatever life will bring me because it can never be planned, and the beauty of life is that it is full of surprises, people to meet, love stories to live, love stories to cry for, and love stories to make them continue.

I walk down the street and see couples of different ages, young, middle-aged, old, and I wonder what their stories would sound like? 

What is your story?

Version in Spanish: https://journeywithmada.com/historia-nr-22

Version in Romanian: https://journeywithmada.com/povestea-nr-22