Beginnings should not scare you

“She arrived in Portugal. She was alone, at the airport, waiting to be picked up. They are late, she thought. It was no longer a good start because they knew exactly when her flight will arrive. She was trying to convince herself not to think negatively, but it was difficult after she had left everything shew knew behind, all her friends and all her entire life she had built in the last six years.

Finally, they arrived! She was relieved and at the same time excited and very curious. They took her to her apartment. There she was supposed to spend the next weeks, the next few months, or even years. At first, she thought about staying there for a year, but you never can plan, right?

The following days passed by quickly, and she will try to take long walks to get to know the area where she lived. She does not know if it was bad luck, but she passed through several bad neighborhoods. Stay positive, she would tell herself.  On Monday, she would start work. She was happy about it. She was not the person who would necessarily seek friendships at work, but if it was supposed to happen, she would be happy.

She was disappointed when she got to the office and began to question her decision to move there and miss her friends back home. She knew that she was not a coward and at least she would try. She will somehow manage for six months or even a year. A time limit was just set – one year. If in a year’s time she will not change her mind, she will return to Germany.

Her birthday was in a couple of weeks. She became very nostalgic and missed the comfort she had before coming here: her home, her old job, all the places she knew, and most importantly, her friends. She always celebrated her birthday with a large group of friends and now the only person she had was herself. She was trying to enjoy it but was difficult. She could not put distance between her recent past and the new normal.

But the time flies and weeks pass by, and months and then even a year goes by. It has been a very intense year, full of positive stuff and on the other side full of difficult moments that have taken her a long time to heal. This will be another story.

She realized, after working there for almost a year, that the way they treated her, the way they treated people in general, was not fair. And little by little a desire to change something took shape and became more intense with the days that passed by. She did not want to be trapped in an office, with people who were considered by the management being only numbers, that she herself was considered only a number and had no right to tell her opinion, or if she did, no one would listen to it. It was like Don Quijote fighting against the windmill.

She could not find an answer to all this. She could not bring herself to stay in that boring routine. Why? For a payroll at the end of the month? Was it really worth the pain? She started looking for something better and she would promise herself that the day she could find something better, she would quit her job and continue on her way.

She decided a long time ago, that she has fallen in love with this beautiful country and the present and her future are here for now. Until further notice (smiling).

She wanted to travel, she wanted to feel like she was making a change in her life and in the lives of others, she wanted to feel free and explore places and explore people. She was not afraid. She was getting used to leaving everything behind and starting from scratch.

Does everything happen for a reason, with a reason? Are you the one who decides your destiny and your future or is it the destiny who decides for you? Maybe we just want to think that we are aware of the decisions that we make, but in the end, maybe we just follow the wind as a fallen leaf follows it when the weather turns colder when fall comes and we change the season, and the leaves are falling down leaving the place to new leaves to grow when the season changes again.

Before the fall came, still in the summer heat, she packed her bags, she visited all her friends, spent as much time as she could with them and shared laugher and shared hugs, and said goodbye with mixed feelings, looking forward to the new adventure but with sadness in her heart because she cared for those people.

Knowing the fact, that she will not see them for the next six months it was hard to accept, but she knew that no matter what, she would always come back. That place became her home.

She was anxious, she was looking forward to this new adventure and the completely unknown environment – the sea and its beauty were waiting for her.”

I am here right now, in the corner of my room, listening to the cars go by. Today, I could not be outside.

When I remember all of this, and the ways that I saw the things at the beginning of my journey here, all negative, all bad, and how I see them now and just from the fact I can call this “home”, it is amazing how things changed.

I am proud to never stop myself from discovering, that I was able to quit my job and go into the unknown, that I was able to go back to being completely alone, without friends, to live new situations and see where my limits were. It doesn’t make sense to be in a place where you feel you don’t belong, with people you do not necessary like, doing something you don’t really enjoy doing, just to have an amount transferred at the end of the month into your bank account.

The situations are not bad, it just depends on the perspective from which you look at it. People are not bad; it just depends on how vulnerable you are at the moment you meet them. Unknown doesn’t have to be necessarily negative, and from the unknown, you can live the happiest moments of your life, you just have to go for it!

What is your story?

Version in Spanish: https://journeywithmada.com/historia-nr-25/

Version in Romanian: https://journeywithmada.com/povestea-nr-25/