And my world started to fall apart . . .

“I was 14 years old and started to slowly become a woman and have a social life. A good friend of mine was celebrating her birthday party and I was invited. While I was at the party, I have noticed that a man, older than I was, observed me the whole time. I knew him because the city was small, but I have never talked to him.

He stopped me while going to the bathroom to make me compliments and give me his phone number, telling me if I ever need anything, I can always call him. I immediately rejected him, but on the way home I realized I was feeling flattered that an older guy noticed me, among other girls, and come to talk.

The biggest mistake of my life was to call him. Starting from that point, a dreadful nightmare started for me. I would realize this very soon, in the hardest way possible.

We started to talk, and he told me his 20 years old. I believed him because he was good looking even though he was, actually, 10 years older than he said. He doubled my age, but I will find this out when it was already too late. He was in good condition because he was practicing a lot of sport, one of them was boxing, so was difficult not to believe him.

You will see later why I mentioned that he was practicing boxing.

It took me a week to accept his invitation to go for a drink. I would lie to my parents because I knew they will not allow me to go out with a man at that early age. Now, I wish I would have been honest with them.

We will start seeing each other quite rare because he was afraid of my father.  My father was working in the police force. He was treating me like a little princess, offering me presents now and then, and I enjoyed the attention I received from him. In my mind, I thought he is genuine, and he respects our relationship. I believed in real love, like the ones you see in the movies. The bad guy falls in love with the innocent girl and she manages to change him, to make him a better person. He would tell me wonderful things, beautiful lies just to keep me next to him. I was so precious for him also because I was a virgin, I was like a trophy.

I wanted his attention so I would tell him what happened in every minute of my life. I was also very naive, not to say stupid. He knew what I was doing the whole time, with who I was, what I was talking about. He would follow me everywhere to see where and with who I was outside, telling me that friends do not exist and they do not care what will happen to me, and he is the only one carrying for me and wishing good things for me to happen.

Two years went by like this. With time he becomes more and more possessive, trying to control everything I was doing. One of the reasons was that I have lost my virginity with him. He freaked out because I was still a minor and he was extremely afraid of my father. One of the most beautiful moments in your life, or at least supposed to be one of the most beautiful, become my worst experience ever.

Time passes by and my friends were enjoying the social life, going to parties, birthday parties, and I was stuck in his house because he was extremely jealous. He will get angry even when I will great my classmates. The situation becomes worse.

One day I had a big fight with my father because someone told him he saw us out in the city together. He threatened me that I will never go out of the house because he was a dangerous guy. I said to my father that my boyfriend was better than him because he never screams at me. In my mind, my father was the bad guy and my boyfriend the good one. Today, I deeply regret those words.

Some time passed by and I started to skip school and to use that time to meet with him. I often heard from other women that he was cheating on me and when I started to question him, he said to me that I will have a right to ask him questions only when I will become his wife, and that he is a man and he has needs and that me, with the few hours I skipped school, I cannot satisfy those needs.

I have realized with time that I have fallen in love with a perception of him and that in reality, he was a monster, a possessive man, and a control freak.

One time, I took his phone while he was having a shower and I found messages and naked photos with all the girls he allowed me to be friends with. He was cheating on me for more than half a year.

I realized that my youth was completely destroyed.  He was controlling every step I made: I could not use makeup at school because I was supposed to be beautiful just for him; I was supposed to take a photo with who I was out to show him that I loved him and to make him trust me. Even if I did all those things he asked me to do, he would still cheat on me.

My days will become darker and my nights sadder and lonely. My friends were having a normal life and I was locked in a cage, physically and emotionally. I felt sorry and deeply sad for my parents that sacrificed a lot to offer me a good life and education, and now, a stranger was bringing me down, deep down.

The moment when I realized that I can not continue with this was when he threatened me that when I will celebrate my 18th birthday, he will come to pick me up with my luggage to go and live with him. He promised me that I will never see my father again for several years. This will be his revenge because he did not allow us to be together.

I become colder and colder towards him, I was searching for a safe way to leave him, and he became more and more obsessed with me.“

I am here right now, talking to a friend of mine and allowing her to say her story, with her own words, allowing her to go back to the past and live once again, thorough painful memories that phase, that experience of her life.

Nowadays, more than 10 years passed by, but the mark is still there, and it hurts to see that she offered the best of her and all of that got used against her, like a weapon.

The story will continue in the next post and there, everyone will get out their own conclusions.

To be continued . . .

Version in Spanish: https://journeywithmada.com/historia-nr-14—primera-parte/

Version in Romanian: https://journeywithmada.com/povestea-nr-14—prima-parte/